The Vogue Scandinavia guide to planning your wedding, month-by-month

The knee has bent, the question has been popped, the tears and excitement flow. Now it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty: planning the big day. The planning can go one of two ways; DIY or seek expert help. And when you consider just how much thought and work often goes into the proceedings of the big day – everything from choosing the colour palette to selecting the flowers – any tips and suggestions are duly welcomed.

Here, our experts provide their guidance when planning your special day with a wedding planning timeline.

Determine a budget

Whatever you do, don’t seek online advice when it comes to your budget. Couples should try to avoid heading to Google and asking how much a wedding costs. “They create budget-based numbers that aren't in line with their savings accounts and not aligned with their vision,” says Carolin DeLotuz, founder of Wed Sthlm in Stockholm. “Instead, look at your vision and research that by asking for quotes and looking at websites selling the items you want. Once you have a budget, either save more money to make your vision a reality or look at ways to revise your vision to fit the amount of money available.”

Create a preliminary guest list

To finalise your wedding budget, you need to know approximately how many guests you want to invite. Guests are going to take up the biggest chunk of your budget, especially when you consider the food, drinks, cake and table settings associated with them. “Cutting the guest list is, therefore, also an easy way to cut your budget,” says DeLotuz.

Set a date

The big one – setting a date is one of the most important things to do as it dictates what follows, so the sooner this is done the better. Once you have set the date that works, you can move onto booking the other components, such as the venue.

Hire a wedding planner

“If you're wondering whether to do this before or after booking a venue, the answer is to do it before,” says Fanny Staaf, wedding planner and event designer based in Stockholm. That way you have additional support right from the very beginning of the planning process and an extra pair of hands to sift through possible venues and find the real stars.

Create the theme

We’re talking mood boards, colour schemes, the overall ‘vibe’ of the day. Rather than only discussing colours and themes with the planner, having examples ensures achieving the vision will be much easier. “We recommend keeping this to one A4 so it's easy for all vendors to see what vibe and aesthetic you're going for,” says Staaf.

Book photographer and videographer

The wedding photo album is something that you are going to have for a very long time, so you want to be satisfied with the final images. “Booking a photographer whose previous work you love is important; this isn’t an area where you should save on," says Staaf. “A videographer is more of a ‘nice to have,’ but if your budget allows, I recommend it since you get to relive your wedding day in a completely different way.”

Ask the bridesmaids to be in your bridal party

Time to pop the question yourself. This is where you can get really personal – take your chosen ones out for a drink or a spa session and ask them the question, or simply send a beautiful card if they’re in another city. It's also a good time for your groom to ask his groomsmen.

Start shopping for the wedding dress

“When you start, try everything, even designs you think you'll never like will help you land on what you love the most,” suggests Staaf. As you might end up surprising yourself. Unless you’re buying directly off the rack, really consider a dress timeline, as you don’t want to end up with nothing to wear on the day. “Wedding dresses usually have a delivery time of nine months since they are made to order,” says DeLotuz. “[Some] brides don't know this and might miss their dream dress because of that.”

Send your save-the-dates

If you have a lot of guests coming from far flung countries, then it’s useful to give them as much notice as possible. This way they can prepare their travel, and book flights and accommodation well in advance.

Book the caterer

Most venues provide menu options but if you’re going a different route, now is the time to book. Don't forget to double check if the venue provides serving staff and bartenders, or if you will need to organise this separately.

Book the entertainment

Entertainment extends far beyond the actual ceremony. “Decide on ceremony music as well as a DJ or band for the cocktail hour, reception, and after party,” recommends Staaf. “Don't forget to look up what equipment each vendor will need and if they will provide this themselves, or if they expect you to.”

Meet florists and book

Just like hair, make up, and your dress, a florist needs to be in sync with your style and overall vision. Go through their social media for inspiration, get a feel of what they do and set up appointments. Also consider the season or month of your wedding and discuss your likes and dislikes with florists, as well as your budget.

Book your bridal suite and block hotel rooms for guests

Don’t forget to discuss whether you’d like to stay in the same room as your groom the night before the ceremony.

Plan for a welcome party and/or farewell brunch

“We always recommend using as many of your wedding day vendors as possible for ease of planning and it's also usually more affordable,” says Staaf.

Inform your guests

Set up a dedicated wedding website, complete with the preliminary information and a wish list. And then send out the invitation with the website link as soon as possible, so guests have all the details they need. If you decide to not set up a website, ensure all the important details are included with your invitations including accommodation and transport.

Decide and book the honeymoon

“The sooner you book your honeymoon, the better priced it will be, if you choose to have one,” says DeLotuz. “Nowadays we also see that many couples don't honeymoon straight away, they rather spend money on the wedding and make it into a weekend-long wedding where they hang out with their loved ones as much as possible, and then do the honeymoon later, on an anniversary, for example.”

Set up your gift registry

Registering for gifts has evolved leaps and bounds over the years from traditional registries at department stores to wishing wells and more. “Many of our couples also choose to register for a charity that is close to their heart,” says Staaf.

Finalise contingency plans

It’s meant to be good luck, and sure the photos will be great, but rain will never put a smile on a bride’s face. Things to consider: umbrellas, a marque, or an entire indoor backup? Most (like all things wedding) will depend on your budget.

Book the transportation

Consider how you’ll get around with your groom, the bridal party, as well as the guests over the course of the celebrations, whether that is just the day or a week.

Order the dress and book your hair and makeup artists

The time has finally come, it’s decision time on the dress, so get ordering. And when it comes to your wedding glam, after the trial period, decide on your make-up artist and hairdresser and if they will be doing your bridesmaids, mum, and other VIPs. Don't forget grooming for the groom if needed.

Decide on bridesmaid’s dresses

“If you want full say in what your bridesmaids will wear, we recommend paying for them,” says Staaf. “But if you want to just give them a colour scheme to stick to, it’s totally acceptable for bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.” At this time, the groom should also be finalising his tux choice (including rental versus buy) and for his groomsmen.

Deciding on a wedding cake

Another favourite time: cake tasting. Finding inspo on Instagram is helpful and consider doing things a little differently at your wedding, for example, serving cake at the cocktails, rather than after dinner. “This way the cake will get all the attention it deserves, and it tastes great with champagne,” says Staaf.

Hire an officiant

If you aren’t marrying in a church, you will need to hire someone to make it all official. “We recommend you meet with them or at least have a call to make sure your chemistry is right before booking,” says Staaf.

Send out your invitations

Make sure you update your address list as some of your guests will likely have moved since the save the dates. “We recommend having the RSVP deadline set at least three months before the wedding, if possible, in order to give you enough time for planning tasks that can only be done with the final guestlist,” says Staaf.

Book all AV equipment

Double check whether AV equipment is needed and don't assume your band/singer/DJ will bring these items themselves. Don't forget to consider lighting needs at this time.

Finalise the menu

You’ve done all the tasting and sampling, but now it’s time to lock the menu down. “Don't get stuck in the typical choices unless that is what you really want (pasta for a wedding is not wrong, it's fantastic)!” says Staaf.

Order your wedding bands

It might be a little dull, but it’s also a good idea to discuss ring insurance with your groom if you're considering it.

Decide on all design/decor

“When you are done with this, we recommend you send the list out to all vendors to make sure you're all on the same page,” says Staaf.

Plan for welcome bags and favours

A ‘nice to have’ and by no means a necessity. These can be organised via your planner or ask your maid of honour to help with ideas and shopping for items.

First dress fitting

“This is when you will try your actual dress on for the first time, but it will most likely be far from perfect at this point, so relax and trust the process,” say Staaf. It’s also helpful if a girlfriend, sister or your mum tags along. It’s also time to make decisions about the accompanying shoes and accessories. And most importantly, don't forget to break in your shoes.

Book trials

“Hair and make-up trials are great to do as close to the wedding as possible so that your hair and skin is similar to what it will be on the wedding day,” says Staaf.

Organise gifts for your bridal party

If you want to gift a memento of the day to your bridesmaids, now is the time to consider and order. Something they can wear on the day, such as a personalised piece of jewellery works well.

Create the seating chart

Expect to make multiple revisions. Take your time, fill your wine glass, and most crucially breathe!

Create a detailed wedding day timeline

Timelines create order and peace, two things you will definitely need on your wedding day. “If you work with a planner, they will handle this for you, but if you're planning everything yourself it's great to get started on this early as this will be the blueprint for your wedding day,” says Staaf.

Book beauty treatments

This includes waxing, facials, manis/pedis for yourself and your bridal party. And avoid trialling any new treatments the week of the wedding, says Staaf, in order to ensure there are no unwanted reactions to new products.

Write your vows

If you have decided to have your own vows, writing them a month or so before your ceremony allows plenty of time for revisions.

Final dress fitting

“At this point your dress should be close to perfect, with just a few more tweaks,” says Staaf. “Normally this is the last fitting but sometimes one more can take place two to three weeks before.” Buy underwear (and make sure you won't be able to see them through your outfits), and your wedding night lingerie.

Create a shot list for your photographer and song list for your DJ

Make a detailed list of all the group photos you want and make someone in your bridal party responsible for working with the photographer to make these groups come together on the wedding day. And when it comes to your DJ, include requests for a mix of party tracks, dance floor fillers, and your special first dance song.

Pack for the wedding

We recommend making a list beforehand to make sure you don't forget anything. And when you come to unpack, be sure to let your wedding dress breathe the night before.

Get your engagement ring cleaned

You want your rings to shine as much as your new wedding band.

Organise the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

Invite everyone involved in the ceremony to ensure they know where to stand and where to walk.

Delegate

Time to say yes to all the family and friends who have been offering their help: delegate and get as much as you can off your plate (and don’t feel guilty). “The key to enjoying your wedding day as much as the guests is to delegate and hand over the planning as early as possible,” says DeLotuz. “The more you save until the last days, the more stressed you will be at your wedding and the harder it will be to just let go and enjoy.”