Singer Joy M'Batha: “Sometimes I feel like an imposter”

It often feels as if everyone else has it all figured out, but if you look a little closer you’ll notice the cracks. Our new monthly series My Imperfect Life featuring inspiring Scandinavian tastemakers, everyone from models to artists, is about exactly that: life’s beautiful, but it's also about challenging moments – and overcoming them. After all, it’s often in the toughest times we find out who we really are...

Swedish singer, rapper and artist Joy M’Batha first broke into the Scandinavian music scene by pure chance. Some friends had a tattoo parlour in Malmö, with a music studio in the basement, where a lot of them would often hang out, chat and make beats. Soon enough, M’Batha was inspired to start recording some of her own. Fast forward to 2014, and her big break came with artist Lorentz on Där dit vinden kommer.

Now, with a nomination for a P3 Gold award, a solo art exhibition and an appearance in TV series Kompani Svan already under her belt, it feels as if M’Batha is truly a multi-pronged renaissance woman. But though her diary says booked and busy and her Insta feed is bursting with, well, joy, M’Batha is the first to admit that things aren’t always necessarily as they appear. Life is full of ups and downs, and the important thing is to embrace those tougher moments (you know the ones) as they are what make us... us.

Here, she shares the four stand-out moments that threatened to unmoor her, but ultimately made her who she is today:

I sometimes doubt myself, which is funny because I started out making music just for fun, it was only for myself. For me, music is a way of expressing my feelings and my thoughts. Songwriting feels like a diary, so when people start listening to it and having opinions about it, it can feel super awkward, as it's so personal and sensitive.

I definitely suffer from imposter syndrome a lot. Making music is scary because people hear one thing and then they expect you to always do that thing and not something else – they might get disappointed.

I also wonder sometimes if being in the music industry, meant that I kind of sexualised myself. But I’m also a feminist; if I want to be naked on stage, I can be naked on stage. I'm so much more secure in who I am now. I know now if I want to wear a bikini on stage I’m doing it for me, not for anyone else.

The same year I started out my career, my mum died. I don’t remember much from that time and that’s been my way of coping. I had to take care of my younger sisters, but I was still a child myself. It has made me the person I am today though, so I’m very thankful for that.

It’s shown me the importance of taking care of one another and being there for others. I’ve also realised how important it is to listen to what people are going through. My friends and boyfriend have helped me a lot. And this year it's going to be ten years since my mum passed away, which is a long time, but I’m in a really good place now.

When you walk up onto a stage, it feels as if you are completely naked in front of the crowd; people are going to find out what they like or don’t like about your music. And plus, I’ve never had any training in music, so that adds to my feeling of being a bit of an imposter sometimes. But then I try to think, ‘art is supposed to be fun – there’s no right or wrong.’ No one can tell me if it's good or not.

I think one of my biggest challenges lately was in lockdown. I moved to Denmark in June 2020 from Sweden and I didn’t know anyone. I went from living in a big house in Stockholm with five creative friends to living in a small apartment with my boyfriend, where you can hear your neighbours breathe. It was a whole new country and I didn't have any friends that made music or creative friends who I could get inspired by. Plus, I didn't speak the language.

But then things started to change. I put myself out there and now have one really close friend who I actually met by reaching out on Instagram. She's a photographer and I liked her work, so I slid into her DMs and said 'I think you're cool, do you want to grab a coffee with me?' And we did and now we're really close. It's good to take those steps.