“They are too outrageous and too flamboyant”: The LGBTQIA+ community responds to Mark Bryan’s homophobia

This summer, my partner Lucas and I worked on a story for Vogue Scandinavia about Germany-based, Texan influencer Mark Bryan, which was poised to show yet another side of the wide spectrum of gender fluidity and gender fluid fashion. A side where, just like everyone else, a cis-straight male gets to be himself, wearing whatever (in Bryan’s case: heels and skirts) he wants. Like many others, I saw Bryan as an ally, fighting the same fight, so I couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth in the recent interview with Avi Jakobs, one member of Queer Eye: Germany and host of the German TV series Beyond Fashion.

Never meet your heroes, they say. Sadly, in my case, the saying is 100% accurate. In the interview, Bryan showed his true homophobic, queerphobic, and transphobic colours. The whole interview is beyond painful to watch. It’s gut-wrenching actually, given that Bryan has built his whole career based on queer aesthetics and has been supported since day one by the LGBTQIA+ community, the very community he trashed in the interview.

“I basically try to separate myself from the LGB community," Bryan says in the interview. "Because of the gay community that wore skirts and heels before I did, I feel like that actually they've made it worse for me being straight, because now I'm assumed to be gay,” he goes on. Jakobs, visibly shocked by this statement, asked if Bryan understood why it can upset the LGBTQIA+ community to use something that they fought for, and they use to express themselves, as a fashion statement. To this, Bryan replied: “I think they are too outrageous and too flamboyant and stuff like that... I think they made it more difficult for themselves.”

In the video, you can clearly sense the disappointment and devastation on Jakobs' face. I reached out to her to talk about the interview, and Jakobs shares with me that this it was the most difficult thing she has ever been through on camera.

Jakobs’ first words to Bryan were: “I am so excited to meet you because I have been following you since the beginning.” A short time later, the interview took its turn. “At one point, when I couldn’t stop crying and I could barely breathe, we stopped the interview so I could go outside and have a minute,” she says. “I thought he was an ally to the LGBTQIA+ community and I was excited to hear his point of view. I was absolutely not prepared at all for what was coming.”

Jakobs doesn’t just feel disappointed by Bryan, the imaginary ally, but also by the media who have put him in the spotlight. “I am mostly disappointed by all the magazines, the media in general and the brands that gave him the attention. There are uncountable interviews with him in so many different media outlets – how is it possible that his views and thoughts about the LGBTQIA+ community slipped through unnoticed until now?” she says.

The internet is also furious. One comment on Bryan’s post says: 'The fact u stabbed the Igbtq+ community in the back after stealing the style they fought for decades is such a tragic disappointment. Shame, u don't deserve attention after all.' And how does Bryan respond? With a laughing face emoji.

The influencer opened his Instagram account a couple of years ago and quickly gained over half a million followers. His bio reads: 'straight, cis male, @porsche fan, loves wearing heels & skirts daily!' What really shocks me is Bryan's lack of empathy and understanding regarding the privilege he has and enjoys. Jakobs puts it so well in the interview: “Mark Bryan regrets being considered gay based on his clothing, which he can take off. As a straight-cis male, he enjoys a privilege that queer people do not have. Because they can't just take off their identity.”

We dive into this topic a little more via an email interview with Jakobs. On the day of filming, she realised early on that Bryan wasn't aware of his privilege. “His lack of education in this area became clear when he wouldn’t respond to most of my questions,” she said. "Bryan repeated over and over: 'I am not gay. It is just a look.' But it is not just a look," Jakobs goes on. “Of course, I totally agree that fashion shouldn't have a gender or sexuality and that we should be free to wear whatever we want. However, fashion is so culturally embedded that it's just not up to us individuals to decide whether something ‘is just a look’ or not. If people are still being attacked for expressing their identity through fashion, it will always be a political statement. Wearing a style – a minority fought and died for – is a statement, whether you want it to be or not.”

German artist Ivana Vladislava commented on the interview in her Instagram stories and said: “This topic affects trans woman like me especially. Why? ‘Cause we been put in jail for wearing heels and skirts, we were called perverts and psychopaths.” Also, big social media profiles such as Ideservecouture, Hautelemode, Brendahashtag and Mattxiv also commented on Bryan's problematic and dangerous ideology and behaviour on their platforms.

Throughout my tenure at Vogue Scandinavia, I’ve made it my mission to share, highlight and celebrate the beauty of gender fluidity as it is such a wide topic that deserves to be heard. In my first articles for Vogue Scandinavia: ‘Express yourself: the importance of being you’ and ‘Why gender-fluid fashion isn't just a trend,’ I write about how gender fluidity allowed me to understand that there is nothing wrong with the way I want to dress up or how I want to express myself. Bryan's comments hurt me personally as they are against everything I believe in and work for, and as someone proudly “flamboyant” and “outrageous”, I feel completely let down.

I don’t believe in cancel culture, but rather I hope that all of us, including Bryan, can learn something from this. Jakobs highlights that through media, people can become famous so quickly and I hope this case shows just how much responsibility the industry has to responsibility highlight public figures.

“It might also be a reminder why we need more diverse teams working for brands and magazines with sensitivity for a wide range of topics – just like this one. Good people with inspiring stories deserve to be seen and heard, not only the ones that seek attention for their own gain which generate clicks for whatever reason,” she says.

On this topic, my partner Lucas tells me: “We should remind ourselves to question the people we look up to more, and not just assume, as this situation shows that someone can wear heels and skirts and still be homophobic, the same way someone can wear heels and skirts and be straight.”

In a recent article titled ‘Men in Skirts,’ I write: “Respect and credit should be given to the trans, gender nonconforming, queer, and non-binary communities who have inspired and paved the way for such fashion in the first place. It's a win to see a cis straight man wearing a skirt on a red carpet because it’s a sign that we’re slowly, but surely, accepting that clothes have no gender.”

I still believe so, but it’s not Bryan who we should continue celebrating and I do regret doing so. Let’s all put the spotlight back on the actual community who have fought for it, and the real allies who show respect and wear their heart on their sleeve in this fight.